A Fierce Reckoning – RYH Moment, October 2021

Posted on October 11, 2021October 13, 2021 by Jordan Stafford

Written by Joseph Hobbs. Published by Jordan Stafford.

I was raised in a rural farming community in south Georgia called Pleasant Hill. It was about 10 miles from the smallest town and 25 to 30 miles to the bigger town.

I spent my childhood on a farm where we were the only family with children—in a place where segregation was alive, and in your face. There were many Churches in the community and neighbors who claimed to be Christian, but it didn’t always seem like they knew God personally or lived by His standard to love your neighbors as yourself.

As a young adult, while I was struggling to forgive my neighbors, I moved to Minot, ND. I began to see, learn and experience love, value, acceptance, connection, and security with my new neighbors. I began to meet with people, have conversations and read the Bible. These were all new experiences for me and showed me something different. Sometime later I began to look at how Jesus related to his disciples.I was the fifth child of 11 children. I had parents who did not know how to interact with children, so they left me alone with no answers to my questions. I wondered why our neighbors treated us if as we were aliens and why we were labeled as slow, unintelligent, lazy and not human. I was ashamed of not knowing who I really was and by my father not knowing how to interact with me as a child, to explain what was going on. As children we learned how to stay in our place and not bring trouble to the family or community.

My journey with Restoring Your Heart began back in Georgia in the mid 80’s when I joined a small church called Grace Free Church. This is where I met Jack Larson who was the Pastor. I was going through a hard time at work where my co-workers did not want to work with me because I was the only African-American in the department. They devalued me as a person and tried to find ways to assassinate my character and name to make me leave. Going through this situation brought back many memories of what I went through as a child.

Jack and others in the church introduced the Restoring Your Heart ministry to me. RYH helped me to take a personal, relational and spiritual inventory of my life. I was literally hanging on to every word through the group interacting and sharing. The group helped me see the bad experiences, abuses, and pain from my childhood that I had not dealt with. I began to understand how unprocessed pain works. I had stored a lot of pain from my childhood in my body and did not know how to deal with it. One of my biggest breakthroughs came when I began to feel my hidden negative emotional pain that I had long suppressed. Being in a RYH small group helped me to work on my past pain and better deal with the situation at my work.

In the RYH interactive group and through RYH workbooks, I started learning how to deal with my wrong thinking, losses and hurts. I was hurt and I wept. I needed to have a fierce reckoning with what had happened to my community and me, how I felt about it and how it was still affecting my life. I learned that I had to grieve my losses before I could fully forgive those who hurt me as a child. Those who had stolen my life and the life of my community.

In 2002 when I lost my oldest son in a car accident, it pushed me deep into grief and the pain was very great. Restoring Your Heart stepped in again to help me to deal with my grief, to heal, and walk through the pain. I also attended a Compassionate Friends group (group that helps parents and siblings to deal with the loss of a child or sibling.) While in the group I saw how some people really deal with their pain and others do not. This was another great breakthrough where God and the Holy Spirit worked in my life with healing! I now understand why grief is the hardest experience to recover from.God took me on a journey to show me how to love my neighbor like He (Jesus) had loved me. I began to see how I had been impacted greatly over the years from those negative messages and was still being impacted during my situation at work. I learned who I was as a person and how to get my needs met in healthy ways. Some years passed and I realized that I could not really mourn my childhood losses or issues without figuring out how to feel the deep pain from my neighbors. I was taught that forgiveness is at the heart of Christianity. I used to think I understood forgiveness and believing in Jesus made forgiveness easy. Restoring Your Heart helped me to heal, love myself, forgive others, and truly love my neighbor.

As I was healing, God began to show me many people who were hurting, in pain and needed help. He has given me a passion for helping hurting people and Restoring Your Heart is the vehicle which I use to do this. RYH is a process that helps people become aware of how the hurts from the past have affected their present. We learn how to process our pain, grieve over the hurts, to heal, and to come to a place of full forgiveness.

It is still helping me to work through the process every time I facilitate a group. I continue to heal from past pain and experience greater freedom. So, I want YOU to join me in this ministry and learn how to help people through their healing process!

About The Author

Joseph Hobbs is part of the Worldwide Discipleship Association staff team and is a member of the Restoring Your Heart team. He facilitates RYH groups and helps write RYH materials.

Breathe and Rest

Posted on May 6, 2021May 6, 2021 by Jordan Stafford

“It is for freedom that Christ has made you free.” (Galatians 5:1)

This scripture runs through my head at least once per day. Paul wrote it in his letter to the Galatians. The church was dealing with the pressure to add to the grace given by Christ. He accused them of turning to a different gospel, “which is really no gospel at all.” (1:7) The people were like many of us being thrown into confusion by the opinions of this world, the rituals, and the traditions that tell us how we should think, feel and act in order to be acceptable or even “normal.”

When I think about the things our world is broadcasting these days, it’s not all bad. I’ve enjoyed learning the science behind calories, simple carbs and complex carbs. I love getting into a deep conversation about classical education vs traditional. Even a light political discussion can be invigorating, as I pretend to know the ins and outs of the constitution; but, when I am not careful, these things begin to suffocate me. Condemnation creeps up and condemns me for not measuring up to the standard, and pride creeps up as I judge others for not reaching my standard. Then, I begin to see gluten-free eating as the standard for all and classical education as God’s best. Even political leanings can begin to look like a leg of the Gospel.

These thoughts and feelings hold me captive; I become a slave to them. I rise, and in order to satisfy my conscience, I strive to eat that gluten-free muffin. When it comes to politics, I begin to ignore an obvious wrong in efforts to stay aligned with the “right” political party. I continue classically educating my kids even though I may find myself overwhelmed with the process, while there is a great traditional school right down the road. And just like the Galatians, I enter again into a system of works, trying to earn my righteousness, being a slave to the law. While reminding the Galatians that their salvation came through faith in Christ alone, Paul also admonished them not to add again the works of the law (namely circumcision) in efforts to maintain their salvation.

There was a time in my life that it was all about maximum effort in hopes of maximum results. If you are like me, it’s exhausting maintaining a standard imposed on me by popular culture. Paul reminds us of the freedom we have in the finished work of Christ. Breathe easy, my sisters and brothers, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Doesn’t that feel good to read this scripture releasing us from our works and inviting us to rest in Christ? I can just hear Christ’s invitation to “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am meek and lowly at heart and you will find rest unto your souls.” (Matthew 11:29)

Martina is a wife and mother of four wonderful children. She began as a participant of RYH groups and is now an RYH Ambassador. The Griffins live in Orlando, FL.

Isn’t There Anyone Who Knows What Christmas is All About?

Posted on December 17, 2015December 19, 2022 by Buddy Eades

It was 1965 and Charles Schultz continued to create the timeless comic strip Peanuts. The producers at CBS took a chance on creating an animated Christmas special. As the story boards were being created and the concept was being set in motion, there were conversations happening between the creator and the people from CBS. What kind of music? We find out that Charles Schultz wasn’t sure about the jazz music. Which has not only continued to be part of the program but it has become part of many people’s Christmas music library.

Not only was their discussion over the music, there were some who were not sure about the ending. Do we really think that people will want the Christmas story quoted from the Bible? Well as it ends up Schultz gave in on the Jazz music and CBS gave in on the passage from the gospel of Luke.

The story line is classic. Charlie Brown, conflicted again, bring his concerns to Lucy who has a Psychiatric “lemonade” stand. He continues to ask Linus and even after taking on the role of director of the Christmas program filled with dancing children, Snoopy making animal noises and Lucy wanting to be the Christmas queen, he cries out, “Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?”

It seems that the same challenges face us today. “Isn’t There Anyone Who Knows What Christmas is All About?”

What do you find yourself thinking during this Christmas season? Where are you spending most of your time? Are you just as discouraged as Charlie Brown? Have you found yourself looking at websites for Christmas cruises or short weekends away in the mountains? Maybe instead you have found yourself bearing all the expectations of your family, parents or church?

It is so hard to dim the lights, drop our blue security blanket on the floor and begin to tell our hearts, “what Christmas is all about.”

Luke 2 The Message (MSG)

About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David’s town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant.

While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room in the hostel.

There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God’s angel stood among them and God’s glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger.”

At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises:

Glory to God in the heavenly heights,
Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.

As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. “Let’s get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us.” They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this child. All who heard the sheepherders were impressed.

Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they’d been told!

That’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown. Take this to heart! Stop. Listen. Consider.

Have you been in that auditorium? Have you been at the end of yourself? The end of the program points to where you might need to begin.

The children who have made fun of Charlie Brown’s little tree, find that all it needed was a little love! The tree that was once made fun of becomes the object of their attention.

Jesus is that little tree! He was the object of scorn. He took on human flesh, became a man so that he could take our place on a Cross. Joseph was told, “Call Him Jesus for He will save His people from their sins.”

The children, circle around the tree and begin to sing at the end of the program.

CharlieBrownChristmas

Hark the herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled”
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
“Christ is born in Bethlehem”
Hark! The herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!”

This is what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.

It’s not a destination, you are already there.

Posted on October 7, 2015October 7, 2015 by Nancy Higgins

One of the circumstances of getting older is that I have begun to do things slower. It’s not that I intentionally want to, it just happens. In the fast-paced world we live in today that could be a cause for anxiety. But since I am slower, my anxiety doesn’t have the power it used to have.

Actually, there is a great blessing that comes with moving slower. I call it “living in the moment”.

When I was younger I remember always waiting for the “next thing” to happen. I can’t wait till my daughter sits up, crawls, walks, talks, etc. I can’t wait till this pregnancy is over and I can meet my baby boy. I can’t wait till we get a bigger house. I can’t wait till I finish school and get a better paying job. Sometimes it was big stuff I was waiting on to happen and sometimes it was little everyday things. I can’t wait till it’s bedtime for my kids. I can’t wait till I finish cleaning the floor. I can’t wait till the mail comes. I can’t wait to get out of this car I’ve been riding in for two hours.

You probably know what I am talking about.

As I have gotten older though, one thing I have noticed is that time passes by at an alarmingly fast rate. When I was a child, the summer seemed to last forever. It was agony waiting for Christmas to arrive. The school day seemed to never come to a close.

Now, I sometimes feel like I can literally see time flying by me.

A few years ago I found an interesting little book that helped me change my thinking about how I was living my life and viewing time. It’s called The Practice of the Presence of God . This little book was written by a monk named Brother Lawrence who lived in France in the 1600’s. Brother Lawrence was a humble and lowly kitchen aide in his monastery. He was so humble that if he had not spoken in depth with a French nobleman of the time, we would probably never have heard of him today.

Praise God for French noblemen!

One of Brother Lawrence’s jobs in the monastery was peeling potatoes. Every day, he peeled mounds of potatoes. Although this could be a monotonous and tedious job, Brother Lawrence adopted the specific attitude of peeling every potato as though he were peeling it for God. This helped him find joy and purpose in even the lowliest, most tiring aspects of his day. When I first read Brother Lawrence’s writings, a light bulb went off in my head. The example Brother Lawrence set could be used in my everyday life as well. I would not have to be missing the present moment by waiting on the next better thing to come along.

Living in the moment.

Perhaps you have already had this little revelation in your life. If you haven’t, I hope you will consider this. Life is not a destination, you are already there. Pay attention to each moment and open your mind and senses to what is happening right now. Don’t miss out on the moment while waiting for the future to come.

In C.S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters Satan writes letters to his nephew, a lessor demon, and explains to him ways to keep “his human” away from God. In one of the chapters, he advises his demon nephew to keep the human’s mind either on the past or on the future. He tells him that the future is the better choice because thinking about the unknown future can cause anxiety. The main thing is, it will keep the human apart from God. God lives in the present. The present is the closest thing we have to eternity here on earth.

Maybe this is old news to everyone but me, but realizing this concept has impacted my life in a dramatic way. Living in the moment, practicing the presence of God. It makes time go by at a less frantic pace and it calms my spirit. It is not a destination, you are already there.

Here are a few ideas I have about how to better live in the moment:

Turn off your electronics
Go outside
Give someone your full attention with kindness
Breathe
Notice your thoughts and feelings
Engage your senses in a really intentional way (taste, smell, sight, sound, touch)
Accept what is and don’t fret about what isn’t
Slow down
Express thankfulness

There are countless other ways to live in the moment. My prayer for you is that this might encourage you to consider applying the concept of living in the moment and practicing the presence of God in your own life.

If you have already done this, what are some of your ideas for living in the moment?

*Editors Note: This blog is from our archives and was one we wanted to repost! Enjoy

Who Are You Thanking on Thanksgiving?

Posted on November 25, 2013November 22, 2013 by Buddy Eades

Ok, so most of us are planning a family gathering on Thanksgiving. Some of you are most likely wondering if there is any way to avoid the tension and stress as families unite, cooks pack the kitchen, and people arrive bearing side items and desserts.

I’m honestly not bothered by the chaos. However, there are some in my family who find getting the food ready on time, carving the turkey or getting the green beans just right as a stressor. (I just avoid the kitchen.)

This year my family has experienced a faith building situation as my Dad is going through treatment for cancer. Yuck. That’s not something to look forward to during the Thanksgiving Holidays. So Dad having to go thru radiation treatment over an 8 week period has changed some of this years family traditions. Some of my family, not to name names but they are the only 2 nephews, will certainly miss the crockpot macaroni and cheese. But the thing that I’m considering is how a change in focus from all the food and preparation reminded me of what I am thankful for and Who I am Thanking.

Normally after a big meal and a few too many pieces of pie, we wipe our mouths and say, thanks to the cook or cooks. “That was great, thanks.” I’m thinking the change will be good and help us think about how precious it is to be together.

This year, we’re planning on having sandwiches, stuff all us children can bring in, so that Mom doesn’t have to do much more than make iced tea. I’m hoping the lack of a table full of food helps us consider that it isn’t just about thanking the cooks but being thankful period.

Not only do we need to be grateful, we need to remember who we are Thanking. America has a long tradition of thanksgiving. As with many holidays, Thanksgiving has turned into another way to make us spend more on groceries or food channels to show 10 new ways to use left over turkey. However, the whole point was that we would take time to stop and gather with the people we care about and talk about why we are thankful and to whom we are thankful.

George Washington proclaimed a day of thanksgiving on Oct 3, 1789 and pointed us to the fact that it is our duty to “acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor.” 1

For it is not just the cooks and those who provided the food for our meal that we thank. It’s not just the Thanksgiving Dinner or the family that is gathered, our focus, as in all things, is to see that it is the hand of Almighty God, our Provider and Sustainer, the God of the Bible who has given us all things.

So this Thanksgiving – Remember who to Thank!

Both riches and honor come from You, And You reign over all. In Your hand is power and might; In Your hand it is to make great And to give strength to all. “Now therefore, our God, We thank You And praise Your glorious name ..” … 1 Chron 29:12-13.

Enjoy the good gifts of God!

1 Timothy 4:4-5

For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.