Grief at a Wedding by Sarah Johnson
Just a couple of Saturdays ago, I was a bridesmaid in a dear friend’s wedding. Of course, we had the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner the night before so the whole weekend was wedding centric. In all the prep and celebration, my mind lingered on the many tender father daughter moments I witnessed: the bride’s father tearing up while practicing giving her away, his gently teasing speech at the rehearsal dinner, him walking her down the aisle during the ceremony, the two of them dancing at the reception. My mind focused on these moments in particular because they filled my heart with both joy and pain and a longing for something I will never experience.
My friend’s wedding made me remember my sister’s wedding almost two decades earlier, when my own daddy’s eyes filled with unspoken emotions from giving his daughter away. It’s an expected rite of passage for many fathers and daughters. After my sister’s wedding, I would often imagine my daddy’s reaction to my wedding day and what he would have to say about his baby girl getting married. I had the song for our father daughter dance picked out by the time I was twelve years old. But, these things will never come to pass.
The cancer took my daddy fifteen days before my twentieth birthday. I didn’t even know who I was at that age and my daddy would never get to know the woman I would become. During the months that followed his death, the weight of all the moments that we would never share crushed me. No proud daddy at my college graduation. No concerned father to check in with during my solo trip overseas. No sage advice as I purchased my first car. No wedding dance. Any children I have will enter the world down one grandfather. I have long since healed from feeling crushed by my daddy’s absence but I still grieve these lost moments whenever I’m reminded of all the nevers.
“The guilt and shame slid away when I realized that my pain didn’t fail Jesus. Grief becomes a blessing, as sadness and joy intertwine to remind me how passionately I am loved.”
As I recently celebrated my friend’s wedding with all the father-daughter moments, I didn’t just mourn the loss of what I’ll never have; I also rejoiced that I am a precious daughter of the King of the universe. I may never have a father-daughter wedding dance or someone to walk me down the aisle but I do have a Heavenly Father who knows me intimately and loves me deeply. While father-daughter moments remind me of what I’ll never experience in this lifetime, they also reflect how my God loves me, which is a comfort that reaches to the foundation of my identity.
WDA leaders met together with the national leaders, who have been part of our ongoing discipleship training since our initial trip in May, for a 2 day Leadership Conference. Keynote speakers, Dr. Ruth Callanta and Dr. Melba Maggay, from the Center for Community Transformation (CCT) taught us the wholistic ministry approach that CCT employes. During this conference Jack Larson, Hugh Kirby (New Hope Church), David Parfitt and Buddy Eades presented an overview of Life Coaching and Jesus ministry as it relates to WDA’s Philosophy of Ministry. Each participant was given a copy of the Life Coaching Manual and learned how to develop a NGP. NGP (Needs Goals Projects) is a Life Coaching disciple building planning tool.
The Philippine Bible Society has become a significant ministry partner. It should not be underestimated what PBS means to the roll out of WDA’s materials and training. PBS hosts local Manila training in their headquarters. PBS is designing, publishing, translating and providing distribution and sales of our materials (both in their book stores and on their web store). They are part of a the International Bible Society and as a result of this relationship they have committed to becoming a conduit for providing our materials and training to other countries where the International Bible Society is located. Each Bible Society has the same capability to print, design, translate and sell our materials. WDA partners in other countries would have the same opportunities as our Philippines ministry is using to provide WDA materials at a low cost with the same quality, consistency and format. The implications would be that WDA has the potential to print worldwide and local churches would not incur shipping costs.
WDA has a goal to see people transformed into the likeness of Christ. One worker at a factory run by Center for Community Transformation has seen her life change! “I was once a loudmouth and now I am different because of being part of WDA.” She and her co-workers are part of small groups provided for every worker. These men and women are not just part of groups but also lead groups themselves. Each factory run by CCT has a pastor who oversees discipleship and manages a process that ranges from management all the way to the line worker. Over 20,000 factory workers are now using WDA material in their small discipleship groups.
The Restorative Ministry also sent a significant team to work with Rich Smith, WDA Staff member in Quezon City, Philippines. Rich has been in Quezon City developing a ministry with local pastors who have been very interested in starting Restoring Your Heart groups. The RYH team led 6 trainings over a 3 week period for people who were committed to start RYH groups. The challenges that face WDA with these prototype groups are providing ongoing feedback and training while receiving feedback about how the experience is going. WDA will use the feedback with these leaders and also with groups started by Sowers of the Word to begin a national strategy this coming year. In addition to Quezon City groups, 3 more groups have begun with Leaders at the Makati Gospel Church, the Philippine Bible Society and at FEBIAS.
WDA Philippines begins to train leaders!